I want to update you on my progress in observing my ego. With every encounter of discomfort in my daily interactions with people, I consider what is upsetting me. I assess what it is about my ego that is hungrily craving a fix. The term fix seems to be appropriate in the context of satiating an addiction. This observance and subsequent analysis is, at the moment, all that I can accomplish. According to the experts this is all there is to do. However, my desire at the moment of discomfort is to respond appropriately, it may even cross my mind what to say, which is another step forward in the right direction. This is contrary to my previous behavior of always taking my perception of the high road, which evolved into a habit of thanking an incompetent or offensive person. Thank them for what? I would try to find any positive thing that I could. I know, it sounds silly to me too now. But at the time it was an amalgamation of turning the other cheek and my desire to be a positive role model to rise above the wicked world. Essentially it was a coping mechanism that left me feeling OK about myself and sorry for the other. Yes, even a nice person like me will use subversive contrivance, vainly attempting to elevate my stature for the sake of another to try to make myself feel better. But this is a discussion for another day. For now all I can do is observe.
God speed
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