The Best Gift

I received the best gift today! I was listening to a podcast of This American Life (episode #207) and there was a story about a mother and son. She told their story about how her son was born with several disabilities and how she had to deal with them. Within the story the mother interviewed her son and you can hear his sweet young voice articulate his perception of things. By age seven, he'd had heart failure and been diagnosed as bipolar that lead to a very dark and destructive existence. His mother eventually got him on some medication that changed and improved both of their lives. She described how over a short time a sweet, nice boy emerged from within; the marvelous little boy we hear on the podcast. As a parent, though my children were healthy and well adjusted, I could relate to some of the issues that the mother talked about. We all know that there are certain struggles and issues that are universal to mankind and we can easily identify with someone that is facing them  because they have to, there's no alternative. Then it happened, within the story the mother paused and made this statement.

"When I was doing these interviews with him I realized something about him that I hadn't seen before, which is all those hearts and bunnies and rainbows that he talks about all the time, its not because he's silly. It's because he's been through more pain and powerlessness than most people ever will in their whole life. I think he took all that information about life about what it means and what it means for him to be alive and he made an informed decision that he's gonna be happy with the good parts of life and he's gonna spread them around. I think that he knows something about hearts and bunnies, and rainbows. He's not like Forrest Gump, you know, it all came out of something very hard. And he has a very strong will."

Thank you God! I felt like angels had grabbed me under each arm and lifted me off of the ground! What this wonderful mother, this insightful soul said about her son was the answer to what I've been struggling with! I have always been an optimist and have always wanted to see the best in everyone and spread my joy and optimism with everyone I meet. I have been accused of being a dreamer, and too nice. But too often my goodheartedness gets quickly kicked to the curb and my optimism is quashed by the sarcastic pessimism of others. I am always walking away wondering what's wrong with me and why I don't learn my lesson and not be so congenial and gregarious. Well, it's because I have come from a hard place of pain and powerlessness and back when I was a little boy I made an informed decision that I'm going to be happy with the good parts of life and I'm gonna spread them around! Thanks to the little boy in the story and his incredible mother, after fifty years I now know my motivations! I just want to be happy in life and I prefer that everyone around me is happy. At fifty I know that I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness but my own. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be amiable and helpful to others.

My one regret is that the woman who is the mother in this true story wanted to remain anonymous. I was so hoping to write to her and thank her and her son for the best gift. Maybe some day that will happen so for now all I can do is to pay it forward. This will be made easier riding on angels' wings.

God speed!